2 avr. 2006

working mother v's stay at home mother

Red Current posted about that subject recently.
That question is a problem for me now. As I was writing a quite long comment on her blog, I thought I may copy it here too...
As you may know if you are here sometimes, I have recently had my third child. He is now 4 month old, his brother is 2 year old and their sister is 5. I must return to work in less than two months (I have taken two not-paid months, after my 4-months birth vacation). I am devasted. When my first child is born, I was workless. I stayed with her two happy years. But I had few friends in the same situation, and was quite lonely. When my first son is born, I had a quite recent job. My co-worker was an amazing man, whom I really loved to work with, and still it was hard to go back to work after six months of interruption, leaving behind a tiny baby, every day of the week.
Now my beloved co-worker has been replaced, my job is getting boring... and I must let behind THREE children to go working. My heart bleeds when I think of it.
Still, we need the money (even if we have no car and a VERY small appartment). Besides, I am afraid of not finding another job as practical as this one later on if I leave this one. It's close of my house, I can work half-time, I am relatively well paid, and they have never complained about the fact that I have made two child in three years working there!
Do I feel guilty when I go to work? No. I have organized my children's live very happily when I am away. In fact, I would make them go to the kindergarden even if I was at home. (Not so early though. They are happy to meet other children. And I need some rest.) And as I said, we need the money.
I do not feel guilty. But I am not happy to go back to work soon.
Now the question could be: What would make me happier? I will try here to find some answer, and may developp each further in future posts.

1.- I would like to work in a field that is interesting to me.
2.- I would like to use my multiple talents.
3.- I would like to work mostly at home during the next two or three years.

What do I like to do? And can I?

I like to learn. I'm very good at it.
I like to teach. I'm very good at it too.
I like to read. aloud too!
to sing. to knit. to sew. to create. to draw and paint. to act.
I like to study the humanity and its art and arts.
I like english. I LOVE french.

Anyone needs a translator for art and/or craft books?

to be translated in french as soon as possible! (sic)
à traduire en français dès que possible.

Apparently I must think and work about that part of my life.

4 commentaires:

Amy a dit…

My heart bleeds for you! I started working again when Lily was around 1 - but - I get to bring her to work with me. She's comming up on 2 and I'll have to come up with something else, and I too am trying to figure out how to work from home!!

Beth a dit…

Oh my heart aches for you. I think it is always harder on the mom, than it is the children. That mother guilt is a powerful thing. I have been a stay at home mom for several years now. While I wouldn't trade my time with my little girls for anything - it is very isolating, and now that my "baby" has gone off to school I don't know what to do. I had a great job many moons ago, but now it's hard to start all over again. I also don't understand why there is so much animosity between stay at home moms, and working moms - I think we're all just trying to do the best we can, and let's face it we're all working no matter where we are. If only it were the norm for great paying, flexible, work from home jobs. There is no easy answer - best wishes.

abeille a dit…

bonjour filambulle,
j'ai trois enfants aussi et je suis carrément à la maison...
Si tu peux la meilleur solution est de travailler à mi-temps évidement dans quelque chose que tu aimes... reste en contact avec le monde du travail et change de boulot (à mi-temps) dès que tu trouves mieux.
Et avez vous envisager vivre en France voisine (divonne...) ce n'est pas si loin et bien moins cher!!!

Me a dit…

je crois que c'est une excellente idee de traduire des bouquins de tricot/autres de l'anglais (et de l'allemand, mais chuis pas sure que tu le parles?) en francais. Je crois meme qu'il y a de plus en plus un marche pour cela. En revanche, le marche est la maintenant, donc faudra le faire rapidement.
Bonne idee aussi de vivre en France... tout est moins cher, mais notamment la garde des enfants/ecole.
Je me pose trois mille question sur mon job en ce moment aussi, et bien evidemment aussi sur mes priorites entre job et famille (la famille!). Bon courage! Je suis sure que tu trouveras ton chemin.